Sunday, June 17, 2007

Things I Haven't Seen or Experienced Since I Left Moab

Mormon undergarments, a rock crawler, a movie, a pickup with a gun rack, a religious fish on the back of a car, red rock cliffs and arches, single digit humidity, a 'W'04 sticker, sirens, a "my child is an honor student" sticker, salt that flows freely, pancake syrup, "Survivor", a cottonwood tree, a big juciy cheeseburger with fries, "Y'all", an open stretch of highway with nothing but asphalt, cattle, grass and sky into the horizon, a little station wagon with a young hippie and two dogs inside with a bike and a kayak on the roof, an aspen tree, an LDS church, eggs over easy with bacon, hashbrowns and toast, a Sunday newspaper, a Harley-Davidson, white eggs, "DUDE", Utes or Navajos, corn fed beef or Rice Chex, and stores open on Sundays.

Things That I Have Seen or Experienced Since I Left Moab:

Blue goat cheese, Spanish olives, vineyards, live chickens and rabbits at the market, men kissing men on the cheeks, men wearing pedal pushers, British accents, 800 year old buildings, Smart cars, oak floor joist, IKEA, roundabouts, brown chicken eggs sold in the metric unit of ten, British cars with drivers on the wrong side, castles, the "Barthelona" accent, lines of plane trees on each side of the road for a mile or two, and church bells pealing the hour.

12 comments:

sarah alexander said...

I LOVE men in pedal pushers! I've been trying to get Seth to wear some. Uncle Doug would look dapper in a pair!

nancy said...

Sarah, I'm threatening to shorten his Carhartt overalls to a capri length with a stylish side slit. Should look good with his rag wool sox.

leslie said...

Doug, I would like to know what you are doing looking at Mormon underwear in the first place. Now tell us what you miss in France and also if the things that were bugging you about the french are no longer bugging you.

sarah alexander said...

Since we didn't get to see Uncle Doug's legs at the wedding, I think capri Carharts are in order! How do you think a Utilikilt would go over in France???

Doug said...

Mormon underwear, otherwise known as garments are a one piece union suit, with short sleeves and legs must be worn by both sexes,at all times by members of the LDS church, even during events of procreation and only taken off to bathe. You can easily see them under a tee shirt when they bend over to get beer out of the cooler.

Doug said...

I can't tell you what I miss in France yet. However, I suspect on the top of the list will be the availability of great cheese.

I apoligize for the construction of the first sentence in the above comment. But the point is that the garments are supposed to be worn at all times except when showering. Probably the major reason you don't see a lot of Mormon girls in Playboy.

nancy said...

Sarah, I've yet to see a Utilikilt here, but can't you imagine Dan Twiggs sporting one whilst jaunting from market to market? I'm sure it would then catch on like wildfire.

Anonymous said...

You mentioned "corn-fed" beef...what do the French feed their beef...just grass/hay?

As you see I am not entering into the "Mormon undergarment" discussion...because I had no idea such things existed! That's just not the type of clothing I can appreciate!

leslie said...

Doug, what I meant was what do you miss while you are in France or was that the list of things that you haven't seen since you left Moab. I was wondering what things still annoy you about the French and France and what things you wish you had in France that you have in Moab. Do ;you mind the way the French drive now that you are getting used to them? Do you mind that the shops close on Sunday and at mid-day?

North of Andorra said...

Leslie, I'll answer in another post at a later date closer to when we leave for home or after we get home. But, the shop closing still rankles. We still see drivers dangerously pass only to move up one car in a long line behind a truck. Dog shit still sits on the village streets.

leslie said...

I thought Mormons didn't drink, maybe it was ice tea in the cooler. If they were Mormon and drinking beer you can bet they wouldn't be wearing the underwear.

nancy said...

Leslie, even the true believer Mormons aren't all they are cracked up to be. When we were cleaning our our garage just before demolition, we found empty cigarette packs and 1950's girly magazines (whooo!!!) hidden away. And old Mr. O. was an elder of the church.......maybe wearing the underwear cleanses their souls whilst they are performing all their secret vices. Lo, we are all sinners in the house of _____.